*Family Feud Voice*:
"Welcome to Highly Controversial. I'm your man Uppy. We got a good one for you tonight. We've got the Eagles taking on the Packers!!
Give me Carson, give me Aaron.
Got 4 answers on the board. Looking for the number one answer.
Name the keys to tonight's game."
*A determined Carson Wentz rings in the buzzer before the slower, elder Aaron Rodgers*
"Eagles receivers catching the mother fucking football when I throw it to them?" asks the rookie QB ever so angrily
"Show me 'Catch the fucking football'... NUMBER ONE ANSWER!! The Eagles are gonna play"
If you loved my intro, then you'll understand the caffeine high that I'm currently riding into this article. If you thought it was stupid, then go eat some cheese in Wisconsin, loser.
The 5-6 Eagles are taking on the 4-6 Packers tonight with both teams trying desperately to keep their seasons alive. If you weren't aware, the Eagles wide receivers have been having a little trouble lately trying to catch the football, which I believe is one of the biggest keys to tonight's game. I'm not saying we have to make incredible, one-handed Odell Beckham-like catches all game. Just catch the balls that hit you directly in the hands and make the easy plays as they present themselves and the Eagles will win this ball game.
Secondly: attention to detail. Line up where you are supposed to offense. Be in the right spot on defense. Limit the penalties. These three things have plagued us all season and should they be corrected, there is no reason to not murder the Packers at home. Am I subtly calling out Nelson Agholor? Oh I thought I was being pretty obvious. Let me clarify:
Nelson Agholor, if you somehow find your way into tonight's game, you cannot, I repeat, YOU CANNOT drop another ball or you might literally disappear after the game. That is not a threat, that is a precautionary tip from a Philadelphia fan. If you drop another pass with the chance to help your rookie QB gain a large chunk of yards, or take another stupid penalty because you forget to do the first thing you're supposed to do every single time you line up for a play, you will first be harmoniously booed by 70,000+ angry, drunk Eagles fans, then possibly have an angry mob waiting for you in the parking lot.
Third: contain Aaron Rodgers. Aaron hasn't been himself lately, but he has this knack to torch the Eagles often. He is still one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game and has the ability to do wizard like things with the football. Shut down Rodgers and you shut down the Packers. I'm looking for a big game from the front seven, helping out the secondary by making Rodgers feel their presence all game.
Fourth and final: Protect Carson Wentz. This kid is special and can do special things with the right help. The O-Line needs to keep him upright and healthy if we are going to find any way to make a playoff push. When he has time, Wentz can make pinpoint throws. When he is on the run, he has still yet to find the poise to make the smart decisions. If he can relax, he can scan the defense and make the throws, and manage the game. Also, Wentz needs to stop missing receivers high. High throws lead to picks and getting your receivers murdered by an incoming defender.
Bonus Hot Take: Wendell Smallwood rushes for 90 yards and a touchdown. Possibly two if he gets a goal line touch. Ryan Mathews who?
As always... Lets go BIRDSSSSS