Preseason Eagles Almost Perfect. Regular Season Eagles Are Doomed.

By Uppy

Me rn. 

So if the Eagles win tonight they will have finished the preseason 4-0. Undefeated. Losing not one single game. So you know what's in store? The Eagles start the regular season, you know the one that matters, where you play the first team for four quarters. And the Eagles will in fact do worse than not losing one game against four opponents. They will lose many games against many opponents. 

Every one knows that teams that go 4-0 in the preseason don't win championships. I literally listed tons of stats back in my "Eagles Are 2-0 And I Don't Like It" article. Well double the problems, now! I was worried of the 2-0 start but now we might actually get the golden sombrero (I think it fits in this scenario). 

So, Dougy P, this is your first real big test to see if you've got the stones to be a head coach in the National Football League. More importantly, can you coach the Philadelphia Eagles, currently the second best football team in the city?

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Doug, do you know what's it's like to be an Eagles fan who lives with three, count em, three Giants fans, and have the Philadelphia Soul win two Arena Bowls while the Eagles can't even sniff the playoffs? Well I'll tell you Douglas, it sure does stink. 

So do the right thing. Lose game 4. And we will all fall into the regular without some reporter asking all of the players "Oh you went 4-0 in the preseason do you guys think you can do that all year? Haha" . I don't want that. You don't want that. Our sweet ginger prince, Carson Wentz doesn't want that. Do the right thing, Doug. 

Oh and Doug, one more thing:

**Originally I was just going for "Do the right thing" but then I realized that is also works for "we got a first timer over here". Ahh I love this country, man. RIP Harambe. RIP Bantu**