Eagles Lose First Game of 2016. Carson Wentz is Semi-Human

By Uppy

The Eagles dropped their first game of the season to the Detroit Lions 24-23. What's weird, for an Eagles fan, is that I'm not really that upset about it. It was kind of like "meh, you win some you lose some", which is a very new feeling for me. Usually, under past regimes, losses are followed by rage and yelling and calling for (insert head coach here) to be fired or for (insert backup QB here) to take over. 

But the Eagles loss didn't infuriate me like usual. Carson Wentz looked fine, our skill players were making plays, the defense did their job. In the end it wasn't in the cards this week. The Lions came out ready to go. I definitely did not expect Theo Riddick, the pride of Immaculata High School in New Jersey (I watched him play against Holy Spirit High School in the state championship game at Rutgers in 2006. Shout out NJ sports) to ball out like he did. The Eagles D-line was getting caught up in good blocking schemes in the first half and the Lions jumped out to an early lead. 

Cue Carson Wentz. For the first time, he had to fight back and sling us into a ballgame. The rook did his job and got us back into a game where the Lions scored touchdowns on all three first half drives. Wentz gets the Birds back into it and takes the 23-21 lead in the fourth quarter. Then Ryan Matthews does what Ryan Matthews is known for. No not breaking his leg or getting concussed, but the other thing, fumbling. Matthews coughs the ball up and gives the Lions great field position to kick a field goal to take the lead with under 3 minutes to go. 

Wentz is now challenged to lead his first 4th quarter comeback and proved he isn't perfect. On the first play of the drive he takes a shot deep to Nelson Agohlor (who had a sneaky good game with some great catches) and Darius Slay (swag last name) makes a phenomenal play on the ball and makes the first interception of Wentz's career. And I think the pick is the reason we're not so mad that the Eagles caught their first L. Slay made such a great play on an unexpected risky throw by Wentz and it cost the Eagles the game. It was Carson's first real mistake but we'll take it because he showed some nuts in trying to just say "Fuck you Detroit I'm bouta win this game right now". Didn't work out. Oh well. The Wentz Wagon is still accepting new passengers. We're on to Washington to beat those racist R-words.