Wayne Gretzky Was Almost a Flyer in 1992

By Uppy

Mother. Fucker. In 2007, I had to deal with Patrick Kane being drafted by the Chicago Blackhawks when the Flyers rightfully deserved the first overall pick... and now you lay this shit on me! Wayne, why??? Why torture me more? You literally could've died with this secret like Mr.Snider did (R.I. fucking P).

So August 9 marked the 28th anniversary of the trade that sent Wayne Gretzky to Los Angeles and changed two franchises forever, this we know. What I didn't know until today was that among the three possible landing spots for The Great One were the Detroit Red Wings and the Philadelphia Fucking Flyers (Patent pending on the name change). The argument has already arisen that to have acquired Wayne would've left us without the roster depth we needed to acquire Eric Lindros in 1992. Uh yea? So what? Obviously number 88 was a fantastic player for Philadelphia and was the reason I sported the number 88 on my hockey jersey as a child. But last time I checked, Eric Lindros isn't the greatest player to lace up a pair of skates. But you know who is? Oh look at that, it's Wayne Gretzky! Who knew?!

Obviously, I would've never had the chance to watch the Great One anyway because I wasn't even a cell in my father's nuts at the time. But Mike Schmidt retired well before my time and I still rock number 20 to this day on the diamond because I know what Schmidty meant to my beloved Phillies. To know that I could've been sporting a sexy 99 Flyers jersey is like getting punched in the dick. 

Are you happy Wayne? You're one statement is already causing me physical pain. Now you're already like a Philadelphia athlete. Oh and one more piece of advice Wayne:
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You missed the chance to be a Flyer. Shame on you.