I am Officially an Anti-Vikings Fan and That's it

By Uppy

Did the Eagles play yesterday? I didn't notice. Seriously I actually didn't get a chance to watch the game yesterday but from the few clips I've seen, I couldn't be happier to have had to miss the game. In the words of my brother, Wentz looked like he had "more swag than usual" and apparently Nelson Agholor actually caught a pass, which is a good sign, but other than the bright hope that is Carson Wentz, I am officially throwing in the towel on the 2016 Philadelphia Eagles season. At 5-7, coming off an EMBARRASSING attempt in Cincinatti, while being in a division that has the Cowboys at 11-1 and the fucking Giants at 8-4, the playoffs are a statistical improbabaility. So what have we learned from our Sixers pals across the street in the Wells Fargo Center? Why don't we ask our good friend Joel Embiid what he thinks?

Trust the Process. That's right, it's tanking season! 

Oh wait, what's that? Oh we traded all our draft picks for the foreseeable future? Oh yeah that sucks. But wait! You must've forgot! That snake-eyed fuck Howie Roseman actually made a good move right in the nick of time this year. Remember that Sam Bradford guy? I know it feels like his time on the Birds has just kind of been forgotten (trust me we're all trying to wipe our memories of the Chip Kelly era) but he was traded to the Vikings for a first round pick somehow. SOOOO what does this mean for Eagles fans???

FUCK THE VIKINGS BABY!! I am cheering for every team that plays against the Vikings for the rest of the season to help our draft pick climb the ranks this year. If we want to actually end the torment of our Super Bowl drought, we need to do well in the draft. So let's help the Vikings tank, give us their pick, and watch us draft a stud to block for Wentz while he throws to Desean Jackson and Alshon Jeffery next year. Doesn't that sound nice :)