Last week the Eagles traded backup lineman and low key lesbian, Dennis Kelly, to the Tennessee Titans in exchange for their 2015 2nd round draft pick, Dorial Green-Beckham. DGB (love that acronym already) was confused when he heard of the trade. Getting traded for a backup OL is equivalent to when the Flint Tropics traded their washing machine to acquire veteran point guard, Ed Monix. Their washing machine was a reliable part of the franchise, but they needed the pizzazz of a tenacious NBA Champion.
While DGB equates to the fictional basketball player in literally zero ways, he has the ability to turn a franchise around like Monix took the Tropics to fourth place (still can't believe they got shafted out of the NBA). At 6'5" and 240 lbs, DGB is a monster wide receiver with size the Eagles haven't had since T.O. Running a 4.5 40, DGB has the size and speed to become a legitimate WR1. His presence should be able to take pressure off receivers Jordan Matthews and Nelson Agholor, and possibly allow them to grow into the studs we expect them to be.
One red flag with Green-Beckham appears to be his work ethic. In Tennessee he often had trouble figuring out the offense and would be seen running left while Mariota threw right. If I know Doug Pederson, and boy do I know my mans, he'll straighten this kid out. DGB finally gives the Birds a possible big red zone target. If Sammy Sleeves can start connecting for TD passes inside the 20 on a weekly basis, we might see the happy side of EDP:
*Praying for some solid content from EDP this year (or maybe a mid-rant aneurysm that will make his Lesean McCoy trade video look calm)*