By UppyLast week the Eagles traded backup lineman and low key lesbian, Dennis Kelly, to the Tennessee Titans in exchange for their 2015 2nd round draft pick, Dorial Green-Beckham. DGB (love that acronym already) was confused when he heard of the trade. Getting traded for a backup OL is equivalent to when the Flint Tropics traded their washing machine to acquire veteran point guard, Ed Monix. Their washing machine was a reliable part of the franchise, but they needed the pizzazz of a tenacious NBA Champion. While DGB equates to the fictional basketball player in literally zero ways, he has the ability to turn a franchise around like Monix took the Tropics to fourth place (still can't believe they got shafted out of the NBA). At 6'5" and 240 lbs, DGB is a monster wide receiver with size the Eagles haven't had since T.O. Running a 4.5 40, DGB has the size and speed to become a legitimate WR1. His presence should be able to take pressure off receivers Jordan Matthews and Nelson Agholor, and possibly allow them to grow into the studs we expect them to be. One red flag with Green-Beckham appears to be his work ethic. In Tennessee he often had trouble figuring out the offense and would be seen running left while Mariota threw right. If I know Doug Pederson, and boy do I know my mans, he'll straighten this kid out. DGB finally gives the Birds a possible big red zone target. If Sammy Sleeves can start connecting for TD passes inside the 20 on a weekly basis, we might see the happy side of EDP: *Praying for some solid content from EDP this year (or maybe a mid-rant aneurysm that will make his Lesean McCoy trade video look calm)*
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By UppyJim Schwartz is already putting his defensive pieces together in his new hometown of Philadelphia. Schwartzy and Dougy P came together and signed veteran linebacker, Stephen Tulloch, to a one year, 3 million dollar deal, with $1.75 million guaranteed (I'm giving Howie Roseman no credit because he is dead to me). Tulloch, 31, played for Jim Schwartz in Tennessee, from 2006 to 2008, and Detroit, from 2011 to 2013, so his strengths and weaknesses are well known to the new leader of the Bird Gang's defense. Tulloch should be a good fit in Philadelphia. He provides a good veteran presence to teach the young guns how to play in Schwartz's defense. Maybe he can teach the whole team how to stay healthy, as over the past five years in Detroit, Tulloch played all 16 games in four different seasons. While Tulloch has aged over the years, hampering his ability to cover the pass, he has proven to still be a formidable run stopper, recording 107 tackles for the Lions in 2015. Whether Stevie cracks the starting lineup or plays team mentor, this is a good sign for the Eagles. At $3 million, he's not costing a fortune, and with rookie linebacker Joe Walker going down with a season-ending injury in camp, the Eagles are thin at their second line of defense. While the defense has looked good through two weeks of the preseason, I know damn well to not believe my eyes until the regular season. We'll see if adding Tulloch makes a good impact on this defense, but at the very least we should make him Carson Wentz's personal body guard, making sure that our new Jesus Christ doesn't so much as stub his toe. #GiveMeTheGingerOrGiveMeDeath! By Nicky D Via isportsweb.com
The Chicago Bears have not made the playoffs since 2010 and who does everyone blame for that? Jay Cutler. Over the past few years I've noticed such hate toward Jay cutler, whether it's from the fans or people on sportscenter it seems like everyone is shitting on his life. Honestly Jay Cutler is not that bad of a quarterback at all. The Bears finished last season 6-10, but Jay cutler had a career high in his QB rating and a career low in interceptions (11). Last year the Bears only had one pro bowler, i guess everyone should blame Jay Cutler for that too. It's not Jay Cutlers fault, I think the Bears just suck. If you threw Cutler on a decent team with good receivers I think he'd have potential to be a pro bowl quarterback again. And also for the Bear fans out there, how do you expect your quarterback to do better when you're constantly shitting on him and giving him no support, he's going out there each week trying to play his best for fans that hate him. People need to realize Jay Cutler isn't the issue with the Bears, it's the Bears front office. Ladies and gentleman, it is time to place your bets on how long it is until Victor Cruz ends up injured again. I wish he could stay healthy and be the Cruz of old, but this mans legs just don't have it in him to salsa anymore. He has not played since 2014, and after severe leg injuries over the past two years his swift playing style just won't be able to dice defenders like it used to. Cruz is one of my favorite Giants ever and I have tried to have faith in his return but it's only a matter of time before some little incident causes him to miss more time. If he somehow manages to stay healthy I would be hyped, he could be a great veteran presence on the field and help take some pressure off the young core of Odell and Shepard. I need to see one more salsa in my life, or at least watch him get lit with Odell after he makes it in for 6. For old times sake, here is some off Cruz' best plays, I hope we see this again one day... By BobI am not feeling good about the Patriots this season but if anyone can prove me wrong it's the genious that is Bill Belicheck. The injuries just keep piling on in Foxborough and right before an inexperienced Jimmy G makes his first official NFL start. It was announced today that breakout running back Dion Lewis will be getting a second surgery on his knee after tearing his ACL last season. That is not good news for the Pats since their running back corps is quite weak with guys like LeGarrette "just blaze" Blount and James White. Don't get me wrong Blount can be an alright starter, but Lewis' catching ability is going to missed for the long haul with receive Danny Amendola being on the IR and Edelman coming off a season ending injury and a some pre season problems. With Tom Brady not being freed from prison until week 4, Jimmy G and Gronk are going to have carry the team on their backs. It's not going to be an easy task though, with offensive lineman Sebastion Vollmer having a nagging shoulder injury and Shaq Mason breaking his hand. With the Pats OL being weaker then the running back corps, an inexperienced Garoppolo is going to be getting wrecked if he is missing two starting lineman. I think he has a lot of potential; he showed it in his pre season game against an upcoming Bears defense, but if he doesn't have the pieces to help his transition to the regular season then the patriots could very well fall to at worst 1-3. My bold prediction after this breaking news will be that Belicheck will play his cards correctly and sign the newest free agent running back Karlos Williams. If anybody can motivate that man to lose some pounds it's one of the winningst coaches of all-time. Williams could be deadly in New England after his suspension is over, and with an offense being fucked over by injuries he could be exactly what Jimmy G and a returning Tom could use to make teams fear them more then ever. By BobBy DjackI swear every year this happens, some fans/writers just get a little too excited for the season to start and take preseason games way too seriously. If you're a fan or writer and you get excited or disheartened by the way your first team plays in the preseason, you're probably not as big of a football fanatic as you think. The only thing you should be looking for in these preseason games is for that random player who sneaks onto the roster and then makes a huge impact come the regular season. Most first team offenses and defenses aren't going to run their typical sets that they would come the regular season, and why would they you don't want to give your week 1 opponent 4 games of film prior to playing them. That'd be like the ISIS sending over directions to the American army on how they plan to attack us, takes away from the element of surprise. So, I'm not worried at all that the Giants lost 21-0 to the Bills yesterday because it means absolutely nothing it doesn't mean were going to be dreadful this year and it certainly doesn't mean the Bills are going to be a great team this year. Preseason football is unnecessary and the NFL needs to cut it down to two games. As a fan, I shouldn't have to stress for a whole month before the season starts that one of my starters is going to get hurt doing a pointless preseason game. College Football doesn't even have preseason games, I think those 20 year old kids that have to attend class along with play football could probably use the extra practice playing time over NFL players that do this for a living. College kids report in mid-July and they start playing regular season games at the end of August, gives them about 6 weeks to prepare and get ready for opening night. Meanwhile, the NFL has mini camps starting in April and they take 4 months to prepare for their season. It's just ridiculous cut it down give the players more time to rest and workout on their own. The NFL doesn't need all these extra games these guys take enough of a punishment as it is. Time to make training camps and preseason less demanding for these players they're the best in the world at what they do and they certainly don't need four pointless games to get ready for a NFL season. I call on Bill Murray, for some help... By BobHours before a pre-season game against the New York Football Giants, some huge news was announced from the Bills camp. The foot God aka Rex Ryan and his staff made the decision to cut second year running back Karlos Williams. Williams had a very impressive rookie season finishing with a little over 600 all-purpose yards, nine touchdowns and an eye opening 5.6 YPC. Even though he shocked some blackout drunk Bills fans last year, he must have been doing too much partying with them during the off season because his weight had become the main reason for his release. Although he had been listed at 229 pounds, he had weighed in at his fattest at 261 pounds! You have to be binge eating like Rob Kardashian if you gain that much weight in a matter of a few months. Football players are supposed to exercise and work hard in order to get playing time right? Well apparently Williams did not get that memo because that fatass just cost himself a job. It did not help that he was suspended the first 4 games of the 2016 season for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy. You really hate to see it. Such promise in these young guys, and they decide to throw it all away just to live the extravagant lifestyle, it is kind of pathetic. If Williams can drop some lbs faster then Rex after his wife cut out feet from his diet, then i think he can find a new home soon enough. The two front-runners i could see trying to sign him are either the Redskins or the Lions. Each of these teams only have one solid running back in their rotation, so a rejuvenated Williams could be a huge catch for either team.
The other big news from the Bills this Saturday is that pro bowler Marcell Dareus will be entering rehab in response to his suspension for marijuana that is costing him the first four games of this season. After missing a game last year due to violating the leagues policy, Marcell knew it was time to be an adult and stop being friends with Mary. Dareus stated regarding his mature decison saying "I appreciate the support of my teammates and the Bills organization through this process". That everybody, is how you handle a shitty situation put in front of you. You realize you fucked up, and instead of sitting on your ass while waiting to get back on the field, you try to get yourself better so you do not make the same stupid mistake twice. I personally think being suspended for pot is stupid since it takes away the grueling pain these players inflict on each other every practice/game, but i unfortunately do not have a say in the rules (although i should because Godell is SHOT). Anyways, Dareus' return cannot come soon enough, as the Bills defense have already had a shitty beginning to the season to say the least. Not only are their two top picks Shaw Lawson and Reggie Ragland already out for the year, but defensive end Manny Lawson is under investigation for possibly violating the "personal conduct policy". Oh, and the guy who punched Geno Smith in the face last year Ik Enemkpali was actually expected to get some reps this year, until he tore his ACL and got cut. #BillsMafia has had absolutely no luck so far this year, but hopefully it gets better before it gets worse because this team does have the talent to be a lowkey contender. If there is anything i know about Buffalo, it does not matter if they suck anyways the fans will just get drunk and throw one another through burning tables until the season is over. By CV This is the year that all 7 of the Jacksonville Jaguars fans have been waiting for. You heard it here first. THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS WILL BE A PLAYOFF TEAM. This may be surprising to most of the world but Its not really that far fetched. I expect Blake Bortles to have a breakout year and be top 3 in passing yards this year while also cutting down his league leading 18 interceptions. He'll also have some help in the backfield from off season signing Chris Ivory. I think he's one of the most underrated running backs in football. The offense wasn't really the problem last year though. It was the Jag's shitty defense. They finished 31st out of 32 teams in points allowed last season. That just won't get it done. But i expect there defense to be a lot better this season. They signed DT Malik Jackson which is a big improvement for them. They also drafted highly touted DB Jalen Ramsey who can be a star right away in this league with his potential. They won't be the 1985 bears on defense but i expect them to be much improved. This will lead to a lot more wins. If Blake Bortles can improve on his decision making, theres no reason this team won't be a playoff team. They also have the benefit of being in a weak division with the texans colts and titans, all teams that can't be trusted to make the playoffs. This is the Jag's year.
BY CV As a fan of the Dallas Cowboys, I have to say I was stoked when they selected Ezekiel Elliot with the 4th pick in this years NFL draft. I understand that drafting lineman is an important part of the game, but it's always more exciting when your team drafts a star college offensive player. I'm not going to pretend I follow college football at all, because I don't. But it was impossible not to notice all the hype surrounding Elliot. Everyone seems to think that that he is poised for a great year behind the best offensive line in football but I'm not quite sold yet. All the analysts and fans forget that he is going to be a rookie. Nothing in the NFL is a guarantee and sometimes takes years before draft picks pan out the way everyone thought they would. Most of the great running backs in today's game weren't even top 10 picks. Both Le'veon Bell and Matt Forte were both second round picks. Tony Romo also has had a bad history of injuries the past few years. If he were to be injured and miss significant time, teams will game plan more to stop Elliot which would make it harder for him to have big games. He also has to live up to an enormous amount of pressure. I believe that he'll have a solid rookie year, but living up to the expectations put on him will be a huge challenge. I just hope that he can handle the added pressure that comes with playing in Dallas.
By BobIt was announced just before that Leveon Bell will only be serving a three game suspension for missing drug tests earlier this year. This might not seem like that big of a difference from the original four game one he received, but he will no doubt be the difference maker on a questionable Steelers team this year. With guys like WR Martavis Bryant suspended for the year and savvy veteran TE Heath Miller retiring it will be up to the big 3 of Pittsburgh of Big Ben, AB, and Leveon to carry the load since the defense is going to suck. These are 3 stars well capable of being the most potent offense in the league, and how Leveon plays when he gets back will really matter if this team makes they playoffs. Bell is a top tier running back when healthy, and I would love nothing more then him to come back from suspension/injury and piss all over the NFL. Come week four, it will time for the big dog to eat and you already know vengeance against Godell and the lentire league is on his mind. |
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AuthorDjack- Chief editor Archives
April 2018
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