Report: Marlins to Part Ways With Hitting Coach Barry Bonds

By Uppy

According to a report from Jon Heyman, the Marlins plan to let Barry Bonds go as their hitting coach. Bonds, who was signed at the beginning of the season, holds the career home run record at 762, in case you live under a rock. 

Hmmm, Barry Bonds can't teach people how to hit? I wonder just HOW did he hit so many home runs?! 

Oh YEAH!

What's weird is the Marlins didn't actually do that bad this year. They ended the year with the fourth-best batting average in MLB despite losing Dee Gordon for half of the season—but their OPS was the fourth-worst in baseball. Wait why did they lose Dee Gordon? 

HAHAHA. Way to go Barry. Bringing the roids back to South Florida. Full circle. I know you were good before steroids but you cheated so go kick rocks.